Define: Weekend

This weekend was hard in quite a few ways.

*Notice: This is incredibly long. Just so you know.

I'm not going to go into detail about everything, because I'll just get worked up about it again, and now that I've been able to get away from things, it's a little less bad than it seemed at the time.

My stepbrother's girlfriend has been kicked out of her house, so she's staying at my house. My parents didn't want her there, but when she got kicked out, what else was there to do? She didn't have anywhere else to go, and what would they have said to Wesley? "Nope, sorry, your girlfriend has to live on the streets." I understand why my parents let her move in after talking with them about it.

Now, onto the girlfriend, Izzy, as she prefers to be called (Isabelle is the real name). She moved into my bedroom.

Sort of.

By sort of, I mean that clothes and things were strewn EVERYWHERE. I'll be honest, I am not known for being a neat-freak, but I got about three feet past the door of my room, and could go no further. It was a total mess. And then there was the smoke smell. I had a headache in 10 minutes. It bothered me that it smelled like smoke, and it bothered me that now everything of mine that's in there smells like smoke. Sure, clothes can be washed, but it's got to be in the carpet, mattress, everything. There are also some things I'm not putting into the wash, like the dress I wore as a flower girl in my aunt's wedding in third grade. My stepmom smokes, but she is very careful about the smell of it. She doesn't smoke in her car, and she never smokes in the house. I'm not sure if Izzy smoked in the room or not. I know that my stepmom wouldn't let her if she knew, but I did find a cigarette butt in there.

I was also upset to find some of my things mixed in with Izzy's. For example Izzy has a doll collection. A doll that my grandmother gave me was sitting on the desk with hers. I know that this may not have been malicious, she may not have been intending to take it, but that's still a very threatening thing. To come into your disaster area room that smells like smoke and to see that it looks like the person whose things are everywhere has gone through your things and taken out what she likes is really...well, I was mad.

I was also upset that a candleholder had been broken. I know, I know, a candleholder? Really? But it was my mom's. I know that she didn't know that, but she still should have been more careful because they weren't her things. The worst part was that she'd taken it apart, kept the base out, and then thrown away the broken pieces. I was not happy while sifting through the trash, looking for shards of glass. I don't know if I'll be able to fix it, but I was really, really upset that she had thrown away something that did not belong to her. (I know it's terrible and cliché, but she had no right. There, I said it. I'm pretending that it's less corny because it's in the parenthesis. Don't judge.)

The mouth on that girl is something else. She said things that were completely, completely inappropriate. My parents said they'd talk with her, and that they've had to do it before. It was just...yikes.

I didn't really get homework done this weekend, which was the worst part. I had a TON of stuff to do, and I didn't accomplish anything while I was at home. It's hard for me to work without a desk, and the desk in my room was covered with Izzy's stuff (I also couldn't get to it, even if it was useable). But after staying up late a few nights, I'm down to my last assignment for this week (which is due tonight, so I should probably not be blogging).

I also found out that my sister isn't talking to my dad. He sold our horses, and she way overreacted. I was sad that he sold them, but I understood why: he's the only one that takes care of them, it's expensive, no one rides them, etc. They were going through $100 of hay a week. I'm sad that they're gone, but I think he did the right thing. They should be somewhere where people will be riding them and taking care of them. My sister, though, flipped out. She is convinced that my dad sold them to the butcher (I am questioning what in her 23 years of existence on this planet made that idea pop into her head. I cannot think of anything that happened during our childhood or adult life that would have even possibly made that thought cross her mind, let alone believe it). My dad gave her the number of the man he sold them to and told her to call him if she didn't believe him. He wrote her a letter, but she's still not responding. I told my dad I would talk to her, but I'm not sure what to say. I think she's being really immature about this. It doesn't bother me if she gets mad at me over it, because I think she's wrong. She's overreacting, and she's really hurting my dad. But not caring if she's mad at me probably isn't the way I should handle it. I just don't know what she thought would happen. By the time she and Sean get settled and could take care of them, the horses would be like 30 years old! They wouldn't be rideable anymore, if they even lived that long! She can't keep them at her apartment, and there's no way they could afford to keep them at a stable. I understand that she is upset, but I think that she's taking it too far, and I don't think she really thought about the reasons behind what my dad did.

I talked with my parents about my educational plans. I am having a hard time choosing whether I should keep going to Spring Arbor (I'm at LEAST 2 years away from a communications degree), or transfer to a community college (I could probably get an associates in something in a semester). I'd rather be here, but it's a lot of money to be here. This is where all my friends are. If I transfer, I don't know how I'll actually get to classes, because at this point, I don't have a car. I also don't want to be living at home if Izzy is going to be there. I can honestly say that before last weekend, I was considering going back home, which is a thought that hasn't crossed my mind in a long time. But community college would be a lot cheaper, and I'm so close to an associate's degree.

My dad told me that if I wanted to stay here, they'd support that, but they need me to pick a program and stay with it.


I've got some decisions to make. But first, I need to finish reading the Inferno.
Ugh.

Home

I've got a whole post typed up about this weekend so far, and in particular, my stepbrother's girlfriend, but I'm not sure I should post it. We'll see.



This weekend is not going as I had envisioned it.

And now I remember...

...why I'd rather work in my room.


I did well, I got three things done. Then I had to go back to my room because I'd forgotten my keys, and when I get off of work at 2 am, Muffitt will be locked, and I'd like to get in (I also brought back some Chex Mix and Reeses to snack on for the next four hours. It was necessary.).

I try to do my homework in the order that it's due. I can't do one of my assignments for Monday yet, because I need to borrow notes from Clare. No biggie, it's not going to take that long to write. So I went to the next thing on my list. Creative writing. I pulled out my creative writing notebook to see which stories I need to read for Monday, and realized it's the wrong notebook. I have to do three things for creative writing, but I have to read the stories before I can do the other two assignments. And I can't do the first one because I brought the wrong notebook. And I can't go back to my room and get it, because now I'm working.


Why didn't I notice in the two hours I was here before I was working?!
Augh!

I thought...

...that I was getting all caught up on homework, until I realized today that I have four things to do for creative writing tomorrow, not one.

That was a sad, sad moment.

Oh goodness...

I don't know how I am going to make it through Mondays for the rest of the semester. I'm pretty concerned about making it through the next hour, actually. I try to sleep between my 4-8 shift and this one, but my body just won't have it, so by the time I get out of here I am a zombie. And I have a 7:45 am class.


Ergh.


At least I'm not super behind on homework right now.
And I am knitting a cool hat. Well, it will theoretically be cool. It's a bit trickier than I thought it would be. But I don't think it'll be too bad... I'm gonna wear it either way.

Why is my technology turning against me?

A day or two after my hard drive crash I tried using my mp3 player because I hadn't listened to any music since my computer died.  And of course it's dead now too.

I exhausted my recovery options for the hard drive, nothing worked.  So this morning I gave it to Tom, and he erased it.  I actually teared up, it was really hard.  However, after the erase, it still didn't work.

So I am either buying a new hard drive or selling the parts of my laptop to buy a new one.

Either way, it monetarily hurts.

:/

Argh.

I really hate this book.

Define: Crap Timing

I am currently working at the Help Desk in the library.  My computer wasn't loading Etsy when I tried to look at it yesterday or the day before, but I wasn't really concerned.  It was sad, but not a huge problem.

This morning, MSN messenger kept telling me my username didn't exist or my password was wrong.  Which made no sense, because I have it set so that it saves my username and password and automatically logs me on.  After I tried it manually a time or three, I gave up, it wasn't that big of a deal.  So I tried to check my hotmail from www.hotmail.com.  That didn't load.  At all.  Which was also really strange.  So I tried it on the computer next to me.  Which also wouldn't load it.  As I was trying to figure it out, someone else in the lab was having the same problem.  I told her I was working on it.

And I did, for a long time, but I can't figure it out.  I called someone off campus, theirs is fine.  I tried msn.com, which also didn't work.  I called my roommate, she couldn't get it to work either.  So MSN/Hotmail/Microsoft things that are online/Etsy are not able to be accessed from campus at this time.

And none of the faculty techs will be back in until Monday morning.

This would happen while I was working.

:/

It's been a while...

I feel like I should be getting back into this.  I miss it.

But since I haven't done it lately I don't know where to begin.

I've got my laptop back now.  It's been on the fritz since May.  My dad got it working again.  Except that when you put the battery in, it goes to sleep.

Which is bizarre.

But other than that, it works, and I am glad.  Especially since school is starting in a few days.

Which is another topic.

By the time I finish buying books for this semester, I'll have spent about $400.

Not sweet.

But I am pretty excited about my classes.  Elementary New Testament Greek, Philosophy of Ministry, Introduction to Missions, and Biology.  Well, I'm excited about everything but Biology.  Especially since the two books I need are $100 apiece.

My job this year is going to be a little harder too.  Last year I worked for the Help Desk, but I didn't actually work at the Help Desk, I just worked in the labs.  Which was cool, cause I didn't think I could handle trying to help people over the phone.  But this year I'm working at the Help Desk, and I am terrified.  I don't really know that much about fixing computers, and I feel like it'll be harder over the phone.  Plus, my boss is going to listen in to one of our calls every month and evaluate us.

I'm scared.  I think I will have the people skills to be able to handle it.  I don't think I have the technology skills to be able to handle it.  I'm not really sure which is more important.  Hopefully the former.

I should probably get to bed soon.  Freshmen move in  tomorrow, and I have to work NSO.  Which I think stands for New Student Organization, but in Technology Services, it means No Student Offline.

Oh how clever.

Monday Morning Blues...

Do you want to know what happened last Monday morning at camp? Of course you do.



First, my watch died. Which stinks, because I have to be certain places at certain times, and that's harder when you don't know what time it is. Next, I took my cabin down to the Cedar Center for breakfast. When we were done praying, I said, "Amen." Then something hit my nose. I figured it was water from the tree above me. It was still morning, there's dew and all that, right? I wiped it off with my finger, and looked. Brown, with a hint of white. Yes, that's right, bird poop. On my face. On the way back to the cabin after breakfast, I hardcore twisted my ankle. During classes, Becca and I got to drive the golf cart around and take pictures. As we were driving, we noticed this smell. It smelled like something burning, but we figured it was a campfire (which we did think was a little strange, because it was pretty early and we didn't see one). When we got to the paintball class, my boss Kyle said he was going to ride back with us. While we were walking to the golf cart, I was telling Kyle what had happened earlier. A few feet from the golf cart, we realized that it was smoking. Kyle summed it up nicely: "Well, that's not good..." He walked up and picked up my bag. Now, you need to understand, I've had this bag for a year. It's hot pink with black cats all over it, and I love it. It's a cinch top backpack that my friend Leah's mom made for me. When Kyle picked it up, we saw that one of the straps had been singed off. Kyle and Becca looked at me, and I didn't know what to do, so I started laughing, and so did they. What kills me is that Becca and I SMELLED IT BURNING, we just didn't know what it was. No wonder the smell was following us around camp. After stomping out the rest of the embers on the strap, we got back on the golf cart and went down to the main part of camp again. On the way back to the cabins to get ready for lunch, I was telling Jon my day up until that point, and I was showing him where I twisted my ankle, and lo and behold, I twist the other one on the following step.

All this before lunch.

The next day, Tuesday, I was out taking pictures again. I was wearing a bright orange shirt when I went out to the paintball course. I thought it would be cool to get some pictures out in the field, so I informed all the boys that I would be out there, wearing my bright orange shirt and a white towel tied on my arm (theirs were red and blue to mark teams). I told them I wouldn't be hiding, I'd be out in the open, and asked them to please not shoot me because I had the camp's camera (although sometimes I wish we had a different one...). All was well for a while, until I got between the two teams. The blue team waved me past them so that they could shoot at the reds, so I walked right past them. They knew I was there, they'd just waved me past. And it was literally right past them, we were barely ten feet apart. So I got past their line, and then someone from the blue team turned around and shot me. I yelled, and everyone was like, "Who shot the girl?!" The boy said that it was an accident, but I don't know. The thing is, he didn't fire like, four shots and one of them hit me. It was a single shot, square on the shoulder. He totally aimed, and he HAD to see that it was an orange shirt. Plus, I JUST walked past them. It splattered in my hair and all over my neck, and some even made it into my mouth. It was loooooovely.



However, other than that, I had an amazing week. That was my best week counseling out of this year and last, and I wouldn't change a thing.
:)

Crack O' Dawn

I told my boss I was willing to help in the library now that it's supposed to be open 24 hours for exam week.

I was scheduled to work from 6 am to 8 am.

Here I am, outside the library, where the ID swipe won't let me in.  I hope it's just because I accidentally got here early.  Something better change at 6.

I usually work 5 pm - 9 pm on Saturdays, and I said I could cover 9 pm to 2 am as well.

It's gonna be a long day...

Update:

I'm in, no one is here, and I can't find the light switch.  It is really creepy in here...

Define: Subjectless

Lately it has been really hard for me to stay focused on finishing this semester.  The assignments seem to be getting more and more pointless, and due dates for big projects aren't creeping up on me, they are tackling me out of nowhere.  I think it's going to be harder to finish the spring semester here than it ever was at JCC, which is really strange.  I had problems being motivated at all while I was at JCC.  But, you gotta do what you gotta do, so I guess I'll stick with it and try.

I'm missing Porchfest tonight.  It's like the biggest campus event of the year.  My brother called to ask me if I could work for him in the library tonight, and I said yes.  I didn't really want to go to Porchfest anyway, but judging from how upset I am about having to work during it, I think I was subconsciously planning on letting myself be talked into going.  Plus, my whole small group (minus me) is in it, and I'm going to miss seeing them perform.  :/

So instead, I guess I'm throwing myself a pity party, which isn't the way to go.

Someone's cell phone is going off and it's really obnoxious.  Most people jump to answer their phones when they go off.  And it seems like they'd do that even quicker in the library.

I guess they just really like this song...?

Camp needs to get here soon.  I cannot wait to be back out there.

Today I realized...

...that 7:05 A.M. is a LOT earlier than I thought.