Friday, April 12, 2013

Define: Phobia.

I had to get my blood drawn yesterday, and even though the nurse probably thought I was completely insane, it actually went really well.

I have this needle thing.  And by thing, I mean phobia.  I hate needles.  I hate them so, so much.  I know it doesn't hurt.  It's weird that every time it comes up, everyone's first comment is, "It doesn't even hurt."  I knoooooow.  It doesn't bother me because it hurts, it bothers me because...well, actually I'm not sure why.  But it does.  I suppose fear can't always be rationalized.

When it came time to go back yesterday and get it done, I started having a panic attack.  Jamin knew what was coming, the nurse, unfortunately, did not.

It's frustrating when the person giving you a shot/doing your IV/drawing your blood says things to calm you down like, "You're making it much worse than it is."  Honestly, has that ever worked?  As if mid-panic I'm going to stop and say, "You know, I never thought of it that way, you're right!" and be fine.  Lady, I know I'm freaking out.  Obviously, if I could get through this without that reaction, I would.

The other thing she said was, "You're going to have a baby!  This is nothing!"
Uh, was that supposed to make me feel better or worse?

But seriously, that was the best it's ever gone.  I was actually calm (I use that word loosely) enough for them to get started pretty quickly after I sat down, and I only cried for about 15 minutes after it was over.  Last time I think I just cried on and off all day.  Major improvement.

Even though I knew it wasn't bleeding and didn't need it, I did have to have Jamin switch out the cotton ball and tape for a band-aid last night.  I just wasn't ready to have to look at it yet.